Lone, a tanka

Given time to be

At last alone with the self

May provide no more

Than an answer of knowing

That you’ll never know itself

Destruct

Desire

Can drive a man

Like hunger forward

In many ways a motor

But hate

Can fuel a fire

Like no other stomach bile

Without ever quenching thirst

It will

It can

Destroy

Probably Unheard

Unknowing is this

A constant wish

To say more than goodbye

Or at least to understand

When the final one was

And the words were heard

As said

As is

As was

Goodbye

I love you

In defense of future self

Advocacy

Is

Such a

Hard fought thing

Even to

Understand

When it’s

For you

And your life

Which will be

Someday

Eye creases

Smiles fade

Back into neutral each night

As we rest

As we reset

And in our youth

Fade back into eyes

Both of rest

And of hope 

And of memoric surprise 

When we later look back

With both the same

And yet different 

Eyes

All and yet one

There is a valley between

All those sensory beings

Who sing beneath stars

And whisper to trees

Just a few miles betwixt

And then there is me

Who wishes soundly for voice

But can only hear songs and speech

In my own sky of mind

This is me

That’s them

And we are we

My friend, so choose

The beauty of humanity

Really is the choice

To walk or run

Or to turn towards truth

And embrace its grace

This is my cause

My calling attentiveness

To choice

So choose

My friend

A futuristic, unpresent, me

Contentment with self

Is a weird topic for me

For fear of being accused

Of complacency or worse

I often find myself lost

And unable to appreciate

All that which, not has been,

But in that moment was

And is

Which was me

Silly waves

Clever sights are like

The beautiful ocean waves

Crashing not for me

A thankful heartbeat

This heart of mine

Beats thankful at

The strong stability built

And over time felt out

In this sharing existence

Of us neither new nor old

For I am with you in heart

In body

In mind

And beside in soul

My Saria

Operating Table

It’s impossible to feel

The true coldness

Of an operating table

Until it is you who is laid out

Laid bare

And cut deeply

By a goodbye

Betrayal

Or other such loss

Of warm heart or breathed air

Until then

You do not know coldness

Or metal bearing

At all

Paths

Choosing not

To go down old paths

Is a conscious thing

Sometimes a can’t

Sometimes a won’t

But for the likes of me

The walking back is far easier than

The deciding and staying

Away from such former homes

As ever been

But what is best

Is most often

Not what is easy

At all

It is

Withholding

The hardest part

Of speech in truth

Is to not speak at all

Or to scream

Or distain

Such an obvious impediment

And open horror of heart

Too responsively or too soon

To judge

This is the hardest part

By far

Attempt again

If you’re stuck

And tired

And settling for less than

Your original sight desired

Try this

Sit by and smile wide

At the cloudy sunlight of day

Taking a moment to drink

In most deep with your eyes

Preferably by a window

With others minds there beside

In a quiet chaotic corner alone

Just sit back and unwind

And in trying you will stop

Whatever drying you were in

And with a sudden burst

Of laughing freshness renewed

You will find yourself a wellspring

Suddenly in that moment renewed

And thus more alive having taken the time

To drink in deeply with your eyes

This how is why

Sunset tanks

Excuses cannot

Change the nature of such time

Once it has indeed

Passed to pass by like a sun

Going east to west in sky

The richest poison is within

Don’t hate

Not just haves but all

Instead

Find a better motivation

Let alone thought or bullet

To bounce around in your own head

And let all those around

Do what they will

With their own minds

Leave such triggers alone

And pull all thoughts of your own

Always off to the left and behind

Trust me

Don’t hate

How lived

This I’ve learned

That people can be amazing

For what they do

Yes

But also for who they are

How they live

And what they stand for

In truth

These things

Really matter far more

Than any perceived outcome

Brought about

Feathers in the wind

If you think about it

We are thirsty in perfect streams

Hungry in orchards full

And in gardens green

We live as free

As wild sheep and flying birds

Yet cannot see what is beneath

That all is around which is blessed and ours and meant to be - is so, and if we would just taste, and look, and drink, and believe

We would

Feathers in the wind

A word once spent

Has flown away like a bird

Even if a cage was never meant

Or intended as such

We are grace needed

And graciousness too

Hopefully intended as such

So these remembrances are still

Of a different kind of

Moving importance to you

So

Do not fly away

But let them be still

Instead

Weariness of bygone weeks and nights

Tired doesn’t even being

To describe the depth of sea

At which I swim

And in sinking feel

So very worn for trying

And for caring and giving

So much

Is often

And to so many unseen

As is the nature of both giving and seas

It is breadth and it is width

And it is deep

And unseen.