Only, if, then when

We thinking beings

Are not always but often

The kind of thought based creatures

Which think, only, if, then when, I will

And yet

What is always most true

Is so often not what is thought

Or felt

Or experienced

But instead what we perceive

As the next step is wherever to be

And in what direction

So is our choice to be

Determined by mind?

Selfundiscovered

Finding who you are

Will be

Is about as easy as

Remembering what you felt

Last week

At a random hour of unforseen

And perhaps

Even when you were asleep

Even then as you are now

Wake up and be

Grow and fall alone

I love to care
Like trees grown close
To houses friendly
The kind which generally are well situated
And never stand alone
And yet
I also like my leaves to fall
In quiet reflection
And sunlit pools
Alone in autumns last sun lone

I need this
For some reason
I know

Life in flow

Here nor there

Is neither me

This inbetween

Of worlds above

And skies below

My life has twists

And turns like road

And yet forward

Always I will go

When roadside flowers

Were my aim

At start of seeing

My life in flow

It is you

With every day

You choose

Far more than you realize

In everything

And everyway

A direction moved

Like the queen of your own chess board

Infinite in truth

You

Yes you

Make the decisions which guide

And shape your future life

Into being with each breath renewed

It is you

A hearfelt distant tanka

Wanting is not wrong

So long as obsessiveness

Stays it own true course

Beside itself and at this

Once heartfelt distant balance

Silence is a song

Tune in sometime

To the silence that is

The quiet opposite of

Your obsessive song search

For descriptive meaning

And sound

For in the opposite you may just find

Yourself and in new ways

A silent focus to be found

When the song for which you reach

Is entirely your own

For once

His becoming comes

Young ladies hear me

Men are oftentimes

Not what you see

Instead you should look

For what they are becoming

For there you will find

Far more of value to see

And not always, but often

The closest thing to that sight

Is dad

En work

Years ago

When our father's worked

In lines and mines

And now instead

I work in mind alone

Creating value all around

And everywhere I go

My, how times have changed

In passive flight

Isn't it funny how

Some of the most rewarding

Times in life alive

Are actually just memories

Or time spent

With your body in passive flight

Flying forward both in space and time

Sometimes perhaps

I am stuck

In places of neither body nor mind

And there, away from myself

I am most pleased to be

And ever searching to get back

To be free

Many partings

Though I know

You did not hear

When on the bed though near

I wish I knew

What my last words were

To you

My my loyal and true

Honest advocate

And mother

I love you, mom

Begin again

You live your life

For self or others

And then when

Such anothers appear

It's so easy to find

A new life to align with

In them

But as truly as I say

That you will not get back

Even a single day

So I speak the truth

In reminding you

That life is always

Just a new choice away

And then it begins again

And what was is when

And all now it hope

Begin again

Sick of self in quiet

Quality time is oh so nice

When I'm sick of myself

And tired of my own thoughts

But when I am not

And my thoughts are scattered

And unaligned

That is when I must off and walk

Not due to you at all

But simply due to the fullness of my own mind

Because a body hug will not solve an overthought

Whispers of a future past

There are times

When ages past

Whisper to me that I

Could change these futures

And be more than

Any human being else

Could outlast

And yet we are called

Not just to respond

Out of fragile heart wants

But instead to think more

But instead to act

A blessing

God has blessed me

With this wonderful place

Where I am know

Encouraged to grow

And given time to contemplate

Without either worry or pain

Without either fear or regret

This job transcends job

This is a place

I will most certainly

Never forget

(Or so I hope)

(So I suspect)

And yes?

Teaching as us

All those years

Of teaching taught me this

Just as my mom once told me

Education is great

And learning a joy

But to teach is to repeat

And in the repetition

To enjoy

Such a process of knowing

That you almost forget

To learn more

To stagnate less

And to grow once again

In that most curious and curiosity filled way

This

Yes, this

Asked and asking

Trusting this

In the comfort of others

Is sometimes not asking

But instead

Sometimes waiting instead

To be asked

And if this

THIS

Was just a littler bit easier

So it is

And I would wish

For myself to be

Horizon, a haiku

Dark hills sigh below

With distant suns final smile

To bed they both go

If thankyou cards were tankas

Sealed and sent away

Into tomorrow it goes

A well once sent

It's own way seems to know

Like on a string most intent

My thoughts are

When rest is less appealing

Then unbeing

And unbeing less appealing than ideal

And the pursuit of transforming

A mere space into that ideal

THAT is when

You will arrive at the place

Most intoxicating to me

It's not in body

But in minf

My obsession is to be found